June 21, 2023
Proposal under the willow tree to the song "Colors of the Wind."
There are so many stories within this story but each sentence/lyric of the song he proposed to me I kept finding meaningful links to my life and /Ria's. I wrote poems growing up and this was one I had recovered from Facebook after God had put it on my heart that the specific song was for a reason.
Lyric: “Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sun sweet berries of the Earth”
Okay, going back to the same day I recovered my Facebook Note poems. I am not kidding you that the very next poem I opened I was looking for the poem that I had written with a pine trail in it to connect to this lyric. Yes, the Note doc I blindly opened next was the one I was looking for. See the following poem:
Forever Dream
(written on 7/2/2012)
“When I woke up
I found myself standing
Beneath the shadowy depths of a forest
I paused, holding my breath for a second
Closing my eyes then opening again
Amazement finally grabbed a hold of me
As I took in my surroundings.
Tiny beams of sunlight shone through
The tree branches
And began to dance about the forest floor.
The ground was lined
With dry grass, pine needles, and dead leaves.
I quietly took a step forward
Until I heard the leaves crunch under my bare feet.
I lifted my eyes to look around.
I was alone.
As I began walking into the forest
I started thinking about life
It’s hard to defy emotions
Especially when thoughts
Are about dreams
And hopes
You’ve had for a lifetime.
A tear trickled down my face.
I gazed up into the trees.
Breathing in the sweet aroma of pine sap
And the bittersweet scent of tree bark.
I closed my eyes
And traveled to a different sort of world
I thought about how I greatly wanted to share
My life with someone.
I longed to find my soulmate,
Someone that could hold my heart for forever.
As my toes hugged the dirt,
I couldn’t help but think
About the meaning of love
And its value.
Not just in my life
But in the world I was surrounded by.
I looked up to observe where my thoughts
In the forest had led me.
Wild mushrooms were speckled
Across the forest floor.
In between them,
Lay mounds of stone
And old rock formations.
A truly beautiful sight,
Almost enchanting.
The similarities in color were profound
Yet the shape and texture
Of the mushroom and rock
Were completely different.
In my heart,
I knew what the mushrooms and stones were.
They were symbols of love.
At least one was…
You see… Love is meant to last forever.
Love is not just a feeling or emotion.
It is not just passion
Or a connection with somebody.
It is commitment.
Communicating,
Dealing through life circumstances
And never giving up.
Love will not last
If it’s based on feeling.
I gathered my thoughts
And turned my head slightly
To discover a baby squirrel
Doing its best to hold onto the bark
Of an old maple tree.
I slowly moved towards the tree
But something else gained my attention,
A narrow dirt path peaked out
From beyond the old maple.
My curiosity ensued.
I moved forward until my feet hit
The beginning of the twig-laden dirt path.
For a few minutes, my feet were fine
But since my feet were barely callused
The small sticks began to eat away at my skin
Making them throb.
I continued on the path for several minutes
And as I turned a corner
Near a cluster of yellow wildflowers
I stepped out into a wide opening
Of blue skies, sunshine,
And a beautiful glistening lake.
A breathtaking view of God’s creativity.
I quickly ran towards the shore
And splashed my blistering feet
In the cool, clear waters.
Standing still for a minute,
I look up
Out at the open waters
The sunlight creates the most magical effect
On the water’s surface.
Tiny diamond-like stars twinkling about
Each one dancing with its soulmate
Another tear comes forth.
In that moment,
I put a little hop into my step,
Held my breath,
And dove into the inviting waters.
When I woke up again
I was in my bed
A small stone next to my pillow
And fresh tears
Were gently caressing my face.”
OKAY! SHUT THE FRONT FLIPPING DOOR! “BAAAAABE! COME HERE! THIS IS CRAZY! Ria, get over here right now!” And I told him how I was looking for a pine needles poem about a trail and that this was the one I opened first during my recovery search. “Here, sit down. Let me just read it to you.” He sits down in one of our heart-shaped dining room chairs and I begin reading it. I made it to the soulmate part and then I lost it. “This is so crazy!” I said as I was balling. “Maybe this is why I wrote this poem all those years ago to be read to you in this specific moment,” I said with tears streaming down my face. “Okay, I’m fine, I’m fine. Let me finish reading it to you.” I finished reading the poem and just can’t believe this was the poem I opened. It talks about fleeting emotions, love, love that is disguised as love but isn’t, commitment, marriage. Revelations from just a college girl who’d never been in love before or perhaps it was more so God working through me as a vessel to write about what it takes for a lasting marriage. To get through to me.